7 Songs or Albums on Death and Grief
"Apart from love, grief is perhaps the most universal experience -- arguably, even more so"
The above quote is from a review by Casey Gallenberger on an album I'll talk about below. Because grief is such a universal and difficult-to-explain experience, it's no surprise that we often turn to art in our grief as an attempt to express the inexpressible or describe the indescribable.
In a recent message on grief I turned to the arts, and specifically to music, to help try and communicate the emotions and mystery of grief.
You can watch that message here, which includes live renditions of two of the songs that are mentioned below.
I admit I’m drawn to songs or albums about death and grief and they’re some of my favourites (partly because I do have a slightly dark, melancholy, depressive personality! But also because some of the most beautiful and honest art comes out of our experiences of pain and loss and grief, which is a part of the redemptive quality of suffering).
So in no particular order, here's 7 of my favourite songs or albums about grief and death.
1. Mount Eerie, A Crow Looked at Me (Album)
So honest it's almost impossible to listen to. Probably the most uncomfortable album you will ever hear. You almost feel guilty for listening to such honest and raw emotion.
Phil Elverum (who is Mount Eerie) from Anacortes, WA lost his young wife to aggressive cancer, leaving him and his one-and-half-year-old daughter behind. He wrote the album in the same room in which she died, using mostly her instruments.
It begins with this brutally honest assessment:
Death is real / Someone's there and then they're not
And then later reflects on the cruelty and absurdity of death that:
I don't want to learn anything from this
(note for my Christian readers: this is a non-Christian perspective on death and may feel quite dark and hopeless to some)
2. The Gray Havens, "Over & Over" (Song)
By David Radford. It’s about his younger brother, who died after a battle with mental illness. Not surprisingly, he says it’s the hardest song he has ever written.
3. "It's Quiet Uptown" (Song) from the musical Hamilton
Probably one song on this list most are familiar with and more popular than most of the music I listen to. But I love this musical, and this is one of the most powerful songs or scenes from it, when Alexander is grieving the death of his son Philip and sings lines such as:
There are moments that the words don't reach
There is suffering too terrible to name . . .
And [we] learn to live with the unimaginable . . .
4. Benjamin Daniel, Home Enough For Now (Album)
Christian artist Benjamin Daniel writes an entire album about the death of his mother to horrible disease.
And even if I live to ninety-nine /
Every day in joy and mirth and wine /
Life is still as quick as it’s unkind /
We’re dying / Stop lying
(From the song "Adjustments")
In the song “Subaru Stevens at St. Francis Dam” he plays a voicemail from his mother that is almost unbearable to listen to in terms of the sadness you feel.
You can read Casey Gallenberger's review of the album, which contains the quote at the top of this post.
5. LN, "The Void / Melancholia Of Departure" (Song)
LN (who basically is Gary Murray) makes some of the saddest, most beautiful music ever. It's no surprise he has the most entries on my "40 songs at 40" list.
The whole album (Monkeys & Spoons) could probably be included here. Murray took a break from music for a few years to be the full-time caretaker for both of his disabled parents. After losing his mother, this return album was released not long after he also buried his father.
You told me once when days were grey, that someday you would leave . . .
But in the meantime, our lives will never be the same.
And I still hear you in the void, whispering goodbye,
it echoes through the night in the space you left behind . . .
But in the meantime, this heartache has to end.
6. Sufjan Stevens, Carrie & Lowell (Album)
I guess no surprise that this is likely my favourite Sufjan Stevens album. It was written as an attempt to grieve and makes sense of the death of his mother.
Although "John My Beloved" appears on my top 40 tracks, "Fourth of July" is perhaps the song that grips me the most and I listen to over and over.
Too many amazing lyrics to choose from. Just listen.
7. Stavesacre, "Gold & Silver" (Song)
It's very much open to interpretation (as it often is with good art!) as to what this song is referencing exactly , but there's obviously grief involved. Also appears on my top 40 list as well as in the message on grief posted above.
I often write a music post around this time of year as somewhat of a "Christmas gift" to readers. I realize this is a slightly sad and depressing gift, but I hope it also blesses you in some way! So Merry Christmas!
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ABOUT JOSEPH
Pastor, Author, and sometimes pretends to be a Scholar
Joseph (PhD, University of Birmingham) is the author of The Pentecostal Gender Paradox: Eschatology and the Search for Equality.
Since 2015, he and his wife have together pastored Oceanside Community Church on Vancouver Island, where they live with their four children.
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