Faith in the Midst of Doubt

Note: this is one of a few archived blog posts I carried over from my old site just for fun and to preserve some “history.” It may or may not reflect current thoughts or feelings. This post is from January 2012.

I struggle with doubt. I have struggled for many years, and for years I’ve asked God to take it away from me. I guess you could say it is my thorn in the flesh. But why is it so hard for me to talk about? I know that I’m not alone in these struggles—many pastors and Christian people struggle with doubt—but why do I hear so few talking openly about it, especially those in leadership?

One reason I have become more comfortable with admitting this struggle lately is that I have come to see it as a grace in my life. In the midst of my doubt, I actually find myself being drawn closer to God and exercising faith in the midst of doubt. The paradox is that doubt seems to somehow strengthen my faith. As many have said, when God seems most absent from us He is often doing His most important work in us.



"when God seems most absent from us He is often doing His most important work in us"

To me there is nothing more painful than wanting so desperately to believe, but having to almost daily struggle to do so. I’ve often found comfort (if that’s the right word) in this popular quote by Flannery O’Connor: “I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe. What people don’t realize is how much religion costs. They think faith is a big electric blanket, when of course it is the cross. It is much harder to believe than not to believe.”

What I’ve found when I open up about these struggles is that so many feel the same way. So I’m hoping this brief “confession” will be a small start in helping people (especially those in my own church community) become more open about doubt and the other things we wrestle with.

When we become aware of and admit our own struggles, we often become more compassionate in helping others deal with their specific struggles. And this is certainly a big part of what the church is all about.